ifyoucarryonthisway:

i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before im unable to physically move way

(via predictable-much)

nostalgiaultra:

Great things to say during intercourse:

• Yes, this is agreeable
• Excellent. I’ll note this down in my memoirs
• What a surprising twist!
• Aren’t human beings remarkable?
• Splendid.

(via humanhatred)

chickensandwich:

snorlaxatives:

i wonder what birds talk about when they sit on telephone wires together

“hey denise, shit on this woman when she walks by lmao”

(via damn-funny)

gnarly:

I eat the pizza up up up up up up up

(via dontworryaboutitt)